Worthless?
by NosiePosie17
Summary: 14-year-old, Hailey Randle, has a tough life...to put it lightly. With three brothers who are never home, a dad who beats her sensless, and a mother who just turns the other cheek, she has never really felt that she was anything other than...worthless. She can't help but wonder if she'll ever be something more.
1. Chapter 1

Worthless-it seems to be the only thing I ever feel anymore. My dad makes it his goal in life to make me feel like scum on the bottom of his shoes, but my brothers don't make it any better. I'm Hailey Constance Randle, younger sister of; Kyle Randle, Steve Randle, and Austin Randle. Feel sorry for me yet?

My brothers don't get hurt as bad as me by our 'father'. He doesn't even deserve that title. Anyone can be a father but you have to earn to be a dad, that's something I learned the hard way. My father takes all his anger out on my 'bout everything and anything you can think of. When my mom pisses him off, I get hurt-maybe cause' she has the good sense to get out at the right time, and I am a close resemblance to her. When I don't get dinner on the table at the right time-I get hurt. When my brothers aren't around for him to hurt-I get hurt. When my brothers talk back or out of line-I get stuck in the crossfire.

And when my brothers have the power to stop it, they decide it's a good time to test our father. For example: my brothers talk back to our father, my father punches me and tells my brothers to apologize, my brothers _don't_ apologize and tells my father to let me go in their overprotective brotherly voices (it's different from their real voices, they sound lower and deeper.), next thing I know, I'm lying on the ground with a few bruised ribs, black eye, and a cut lip with blood running out of my nose.

Thank you brothers for having my back. See the sarcasm? I think I made my point.

Kyle is the oldest of us all at age 19. He graduated High School already and hangs around the Shepard gang. I've hung around them a few times, and let me tell you, I ain't ever going back. I can't stand that place, but then again, I would rather be there than at home around my incompetent father any day. Honestly, out of all my brothers, Kyle's the one that I can tolerate the most. He isn't as bad as my other brothers, in my opinion. My brothers would probably say otherwise, but maybe not. It's not like they cared. He's overprotective, but knows when it's getting to be too much.

All my brothers are overprotective of me. I'm the only girl, and they know that it's me who always get hurt. _Always_. When they were younger they used to get beatings too, but then they started fighting back. I've tried fighting back, but it gets me nowhere, so I just take it and move on.

Steve is younger than Kyle by two years-that would make him 17. He works at the DX with his best friend, Sodapop Curtis. I've met Sodapop, and he seemed nice. But all we said was 'hi' before Steve-o shooed me away like a lost puppy. He's in the Curtis' gang, I've hung around them, in order to compare them to the Shepards. There were so many differences, expect between Dallas Winston and Tim Shepard. I knew they were buddies. The Curtis gang was so nice that it made me feel out of place. I've never felt that much kindness, warmth, and welcome from anywhere or anyone in my life! I didn't talk much, I felt like such an outsider. Like I didn't belong _because_ of all the happiness and laughter. I've been raised to believe that I didn't deserve any of that, so I stayed in the corner while I saw Steve smile and have a good time. Their group consisted of Ponybody Curtis, Sodapop Curtis, Darry Curtis, Dallas Winston, Johnny Cade, and Two-Bit Mathews, along with my brother, Steve. I could've actually pictured myself being friends with Ponybody and Johnny. Although, we're all so quiet, we probably wouldn't say anything to each other.

Then last but not least, Austin. Austin is a year younger than Steve-that would make him 16. He's a partier, womanizer, and first rate jackass. Come and get him ladies! I promise you'll regret it. He and Steve are both the same amount of overprotective, I don't know why, they just are. Put them together, and you have an overbearing-helicopter brother. Out of all my brother, Austin is the one I can tolerate the least. When we start fighting, one of us will have to leave the room before the fight escalates or we both say something we'll regret. We've never crossed those lines, but we've come damn near close to them. Almost like stepping on the line and leaning over as far as we both can. He hangs around the Shepard gang with Kyle. Kyle is probably closest with Austin than with Steve, probably because Steve is basically never around. None of them really are.

Another reason why I'm such an easy target for my so-called 'father'. No one's ever around. He's either beating me, or sleeping with multiple women. Sometimes at the same time. It's mom one night, then a random prostitute the next. I hate him! When he wants his "alone time", he usually pawns me over to Steve, which Steve is never too happy about, and makes him take me over to the Curtis'. It's better than going to the Shepards, I guess.

I still didn't like being around happiness.

I was in my room, staring at the ceiling, when I heard the front door slam. At first, I used to wince at the loud sound, but now I'm used to it. Sad, right? Dad must be home, oh great.

I heard loud banging on my door, and had half the mind to shout 'go away', but that would probably only make things worse. Especially if he'd been drinking. Which he was, he always is. I didn't answer the door, he usually would just barge in anyway, so what did it matter?

"Come out here, you little whore!" he shouted. Oh yeah, he's drunk. Perfect, that makes my shitty day complete. Even though I'm used to being called names, it still hurt nonetheless. I wasn't a whore, at least that's what I kept telling myself. I stayed in my room all day, everyday. Did anybody notice? I only left to go to school and the occasional trips to friends houses. But I never stayed long. I've grown to be a loner.

My rage bubbled up, so because I'm just a _genius_, I picked myself off my bed, opened the door, and screamed in his face "I'm not a whore!" Big mistake.

His eyes were red and his breath smelt like alcohol. You could tell he'd been drinking. You could also tell with the beer bottle he had in his hand. I stared at the beer bottle in horror. I knew what was coming, and I didn't like it. I never did, who would?

My dad snarled in my face, raised his hand containing the beer bottle, and hit me right across the face with it. I knew I would need stitches, but that was the last thing I was thinking about at that point.

I was on the ground, holding my bloody cheek with my now bloodied hand. I was crawling over to my bed, just trying to get away, even though I knew it wouldn't be any use. What amazed me was that I wasn't even crying, just shaking, not crying. I never cried that much anymore. Only occasionally after he would beat me brutally. Time when I thought I was just going to die on the floor in a pile of blood, but then one of my brothers always found me and took me to the Curtis'. Darry always took good care of my cuts and bruises. Even Austin and Kyle would take me to the Curtis', it's not like Tim or Curly knew anything medical.

I'll admit, sometimes I wished they left me there to die. I would be so much happier.

I was begging for it to be over, but my dad had other plans. All I kept repeating was "Please. Please no more. No more." A few tears escaped, but it wasn't like I was sobbing uncontrollably.

I felt the impact of my dad's big boots and my ribs. I screamed in agonizing pain. He yelled "Quit crying, you baby. I'll only make it worse for you!" I kept hoping, praying that he would stop. I was wishing for a miracle, but I had to admit, it would have to be a pretty big miracle.

I also thought-what happened this time? What made him this upset? But then again, my dad never needed a reason. It's just, sometimes, he had one. Not a justifiable reason, but it was still a reason. And I'm pretty sure it's always justifiable in that fucked up head of his.

My dad kept throwing punches and kicks, while I kept screaming from the pain. Which, in return, only made it worse. After what felt like hours, but were only minutes, he finally left the room. Probably to go grab another beer. I heard the front door slam shut again, and hoped my brothers weren't home. I didn't want my dad to see them, but I also didn't want to be saved.

I sighed in relief when my dad didn't come back, sometimes he would. I was in a big puddle of blood, which I knew was going to stain the carpet, but I didn't care. It's not like I had friends over in the first place. A few minutes later, I heard the front door open and close again, but not aggressively. I knew it was one of my brothers, and I could only hope that they didn't find me. I don't want to be saved! I didn't want to be saved, only to have this happen again and again and again. Ever again.

I heard three different voices, which meant that all three brothers came home. What are the damn odds?!

I heard them laughing and teasing each other like brothers should. It made me smile, but instantly regret it when I felt a pain. I hesitantly licked my lips and knew there were a few cuts. There was probably also pieces of glass from the beer bottle stuck in my face. Why won't this end? Right here, right now?

I wasn't looking at the door, but heard gasps coming from the doorway. Dammit! They found me.

"Hailey!" That was Kyle's panicked voice, who was now by my side. It was obvious that with the extent of my injuries, they were probably terrified of touching me. They were scared they were going to break me. If only I could laugh at that moment. At this point, I'm beginning to believe that I'm unbreakable.

"We're taking her too the Curtis'." Steve said as he picked me up. I tried not to groan, loudly, but failed miserably.

"What's this?" Austin asked raising his voice. You could tell he knew what it was. "That son of a bitch hit her with a beer." I heard Steve step on the glass. I'm not surprised, I could imagine it laying everywhere around the floor. Some even in my pile of blood.

Steve was trying his best to hurry, without hurting me. I wished I could've told him to just hurry and stop worrying, that I'll be fine, but a) I didn't even know if I was going to be fine, b) never tell one of my brothers to hurry up, and c) I couldn't even talk.

I finally felt the car moving and wanted to puke, magically kept it all down somehow. I wished I had the energy to cry. I'm surprised I have any tears left.

Next thing I knew, I was being placed gently on a soft, cushioned couch and heard what sounded like a million gasps all around me, but I know were just at the Curtis'. Am I hallucinating? When Steve finally put my entire body on the couch, I couldn't take it anymore. I screamed from the pain. I tried to hold it in, honestly, but couldn't. It was too painful. And I couldn't scream at home, not knowing who was home and who wasn't.

"Darry!" I heard Steve yell. Is Darry causing me this pain? Some Superman!

"I'm trying. She's going to be in pain, Steve!" He shouted back over my screams. He should've said 'Unimaginable pain. Not just physically, but emotionally. You should've just left her there to die!'

I heard three voices, which I presumed to be my brothers, grumble incoherencies under their breaths. I imagine they weren't good incoherencies. Wouldn't be surprised. After a what felt like forever, my screams died down into wimpers. Then softer wimpers. Then softer, softer wimpers. Then finally, silence.


	2. Chapter 2

I've learned a lot of things in the past. One thing I learned is that silence can do more harm than good half the time. It can make a person go crazy. It could become a breaking point. It's been my breaking point a few times, but it's mostly a place that I run too when I need to feel safe. My brothers may be overprotective, but that didn't mean I felt safe. It just meant that they wanted me to be safe, regardless of the relationship we have…

That's something that I had to respect. I always have, because in a way, I understood. We may not have the best relationship with each other, but I didn't want to lose any of them. And I hoped they felt the same way, although, you can never really tell. It's especially hard to tell when their never home, and I'm in pain most of the time.

I heard whispers around me of "Is she okay?", "What happened?", and some whispered "Hailey." The pain went down a little, but it wasn't as bad as before. I could speak, but that didn't mean I wanted to. What was I supposed to say? What could I say? I didn't want to tell anybody what happened. Even though, I'm positive they already knew.

So, what did it matter? This is just like any other time. Time to face the music.

I began to stir and groan. I felt like holding my head in my hands, but felt like I couldn't move all at the same time. Everyone went silent again. Waiting for me to say something, anything. I guess I probably should.

I started to sit up and opened my eyes. It was still dark out, but it had to have been late. Now I feel bad. I didn't mean to be a burden or bother to them. If I could've done anything for myself, I probably wouldn't be in this position right now. I just wanted to apologize, but I didn't feel like having anyone tell me it wasn't my fault. I knew it was.

My vision was blurry, but when it cleared itself, I spoke. "Everything hurts." I whispered. It was the truth. I was also holding my ribs because it was what probably hurt the most. My dad had really, really big boots! And hard!

Darry was in front of me, starting to stand up, saying "Everything's gonna hurt for a while. Whoever gotcha, gotcha pretty good. You have a few bruised ribs, a black eye, stitches from the glass and on your lip, and a few cuts on your hands."

I shrugged, it's not the worst that's happened. Trust me.

"What happened, Hales?" asked Kyle who sat down on the couch next to me. I smiled at the nickname he gave me when I was a kid. I wanted to cry, but chose better. I might be weak, but if I could prevent further weakness from showing, then I was going to!

Plus, I didn't have the energy to cry.

"I was in my room when he came home. He called me a whore, so like the _genius_ I am, I shouted in his face that I wasn't a whore. That's when he hit me with his beer bottle and beat the utter crap outta me." I replied hoarsely. It still hurt to talk with the stitches and all, but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. Trust me!

I rolled me eyes and shrugged my shoulders, then fixated my gaze on the floor. I noticed that my legs weren't too bad. Probably just a few bruises. Good thing I can still walk. That would have been a nightmare.

I looked around the room, and noticed that everybody was there.

Austin had this look that said 'Next time I see that bastard, I'm gonna beat the living shit outta him.' Me and Austin never got along really, but there were times when I actually enjoyed his presence. Right now, that wasn't one of these times.

Whenever he would find me, he would go into overprotective brother mode, take me to the Curtis' to get me treated, then the moment I was feeling better, he becomes a first rate jackass again.

I guess this time was no different since he said "Yeah? Well, maybe next time you shouldn't open that pretty little mouth o' yours." I didn't want to hear it from him. Steve always gave him this certain look of disbelief while Kyle looked at him incredulously.

I knew he was right, though. I shouldn't have opened my mouth. It's just…I wasn't a whore! It hurts that my own father thinks that! It hurts that my own father beats me senseless! It hurts that my own brothers would rather get wasted with their friends, then be at home helping me!

My anger is always something that gets me into trouble. Whether it's my father, or my brothers. I try to be on my best behavior at school, I wouldn't want anyone calling my house and having dad answer it. I would be a goner! (Not that that doesn't appeal to me, or hasn't crossed my mind once in a blue moon. Like right now.)

I stood up, ignoring the pain coursing through my body, and shouted "Yeah? Well, maybe if you would have been _home_ instead of getting wasted and getting blow-jobs from one of your many conquests, then maybe this wouldn't have happened in the first place!"

Now it was my turn to get the funny looks from my brothers. Austin leaned against the wall, and I knew this fight could be potentially dangerous…for lack of a better term.

Austin looked calm, but had this dangerous look in his eyes. I could already tell this was going to get ugly. Me and my damn mouth. Maybe he's right, not that I'd tell him that, or anyone…ever.

Austin finally spoke "That mouth o' yours is gonna get you into trouble some day. And when it does, I'll be out getting a blow-job from 'one of my many conquests.'" he used his fingers for quotations.

He was seriously calm, weird. Huh, he must've been in a good mood before he came home. Usually he's never this calm when we start arguing, or fighting, or whatever word you can associate with this. Whatever.

I scoffed and sat back down, not really wanting to look anyone in the eye. Especially my brothers. I wanted to be alone. I didn't want to be around these people who would probably be laughing and having a good ole' jolly time if it wasn't for me.

I got up and was about to leave when Steve's voice stopped me at the last moment "Where the hell do you think you're goin'?" I sighed and turned around, still not wanting to face any of them.

"Somewhere far away from here." I answered with hostility. I was only 14, I didn't want to deal with any of this. And it makes me feel worse knowing that I'm over here on a regular basis getting stitched up by Darrel Curtis because of my alcoholic father then degraded by my man-whore of a brother. I didn't even know where my mom is, nor do I even care. She can go to hell with everyone else!

I turned to walk out the door, but Austin stepped in front of me and pointed me towards the couch and sat me down. God, I hated when he did that! Just a few seconds ago he was telling me that it was all my fault I was beaten and next time I'm in trouble, he'll just be getting a blow-job (and probably a disease, in my opinion) from a hooker. Who would chose a hooker over their own sister? Seriously!

Sodapop came out with blankets and pillows and said "You and Steve are staying here for the night. No point in arguing, none of us are gonna let you get through the door." Damn the world!

I sighed and rolled my eyes, saying "What's the friggin' point? I'm gonna have to go back there eventually, so why not now? No better moment than the present." It's not like I wanted to go home because I didn't. But I don't want to stay at the Curtis's and have them welcome me with open arms when my own father, and sometimes, my brothers can't even do that.

We heard chuckling and everyone looked up to see Austin. "Wait, are you actually telling us that you wanna go home? I've never heard that one before." I wanted to smack him upside his greasy head. How dare he! Can't he ever act decent, just once?! Life sucks.

He stopped chuckling when Steve hit him, with I'm assuming force, over the head. Thank you Stevie!

I was about to tell him to go fuck one of the Shepards, when Steve thankfully intervened before I could and said "Relax, Hailey. We're not gonna have you roamin' 'round this late at night with no supervision. Especially after…you know…" He trailed off.

I shook my head, silently telling him that I got the point. Kyle sighed and said "Good, now that that's covered, I'm goin'. If you need me I'll be at the Shepards." I honestly forgot he was there for a moment. He ruffled up my hair, making me giggle slightly, and added "Comin' Austin?"

Good, at least Austin's leaving. Austin nodded and said "Hell, yeah." Then I remembered my Shepard comment I was going to say earlier and decided to have the last word.

"Why don't you go fuck one of the Shepards, Austin? You have enough experience." I snapped. Sure, I wanted to have the last words when it comes to arguing with Austin, but I also felt vengeful at that moment. Not vengeful…just angry, I guess. And I do believe that I have a right to be. And if Austin didn't see that then he was just as fucked up in the head as our father!

Everyone in the room chuckled, because you had to admit, it was funny. Even Dallas laughed a little. He sent one last glare my way before heading out the door with Kyle following closely behind.

I hate people!

Steve sat next to me on the couch, much to my dismay. Even after that beating, I really wasn't even tired. Far from it.

"Hey, what time is it?" I asked, mostly 'cause at this point, the silence has become overbearing.

Ponybody answered "A little past 9 o'clock." Really? It seemed way later than that, but then again, who the fuck cares?

I couldn't take it anymore so I threw my throbbing head back onto the couch and said "Ugh! I'm so fucking bored!" I picked my head up and stared around the room. What? Was everybody deaf? I think they heard me loud and clear. I added "What are you all? Deaf? Somebody, anybody, talk!"

"I'm gonna check to see if Mickey's on." Two-Bit said while sitting in front of the T.V. with a beer in one hand and a piece of chocolate cake in the other. I cocked an eyebrow (something I learned how to do when I was younger 'cause I thought it was cool at the time.)

I mumbled "Not exactly what I had in mind." I knew Steve heard me so he laid down on the couch crossing his legs, which are attached to his stinky feet, on my lap. Brothers!

"Fine, sis, what do _you_ wanna talk 'bout?" Steve said with an irritating look on his face that said 'just shut the hell up.' I figured talking would just be pointless.

I sighed exasperated and said "Never mind." then quickly added under my breath "Lord knows I can't talk to you." I hadn't thought anyone heard me, but apparently he did judging from that noticeable eye roll I got from him. Whatever, at least he was better than Austin.

Worst part; Steve knows that. He knows that I would rather be around him than Austin any day. So does Kyle.

I would still rather be around Kyle than Steve any day. I don't think anyone knows that, though. I don't see how they couldn't. I never fight with Kyle…like how I do with Steve and Austin. Especially Austin. Sometimes, I really could tell Austin that I hate him to his face. Though, I never have. I know it's something I would end up regretting. He hasn't said he hates me either 'cause he knows the same thing.

I was snapped out of my thought when the T.V. was shut off and heard Two-Bit yell "Dang it! I missed Mickey again. That's the third time this week!" We all couldn't help but laugh at Two-Bits tantrum. Well, that melted some of the ice. _Some._ And here we are again in awkward silence. Tell me again why I haven't just ignored everyone's protests and left yet. Seriously, it's puzzling to me.

"Are you gonna be alright, Hailey?" I looked up to see who asked that and found myself staring into Sodapop's eyes. Wow, I don't think I've ever heard those words, like…ever. My brothers have never asked me that, and my parents never cared. I guess I've been over here for the same reason over and over again that it has these people (who I barely know) worried. Why couldn't my brothers worry like that?

It took me a moment to remember that Soda asked me a question that has yet to be answered. I opened my mouth to assure him I'm fine, but I wasn't. I knew that. It was in that moment that I realized I wasn't fine. Nobody how many times I said I was or tried to convince myself, it was useless in the end because _I'm not fine._ I couldn't believe it's actually taken me so long too realize that. Or at least admit it nonetheless.

I stared back at Sodapop after what felt like forever (I've learned he's a very patient, yet persistent man.), and said "Yeah, yeah I'm gonna be alright." My voice was shaky, but I just couldn't stop. I didn't fully comprehend how just yet. Hey, I'm only 14. Give me a break.

It lead me to ask myself: Was I going to be alright?


	3. Chapter 3

Mornings-they can either be your best friends or you worst enemies. It's the time of day when you feel your up for anything or you want to hide under a rock and not come out till it passes. For some people, it's either the best time of day or the worst. For me, it was neither. Confusing, right? It's confusing for me too. I don't know how I feel about mornings. Sunsets look beautiful, so beautiful that it almost gives you something to envy. But than again, when the sun sets, it's almost like it just leaves a big bunch of endless darkness.

I woke up that morning on the couch at the Curtis residence. Normally I don't like mornings, but it didn't bother me today waking up and smelling eggs and bacon. I can't remember the last time me and Steve even sat down and had breakfast, lunch, or dinner with each other. I never figured out why I don't like mornings. Maybe it's because of the time they take leaving. Or maybe because their one of the many things that I envy. Or maybe because their one of the few things that I don't like, but I still envy.

I felt a throbbing pain on my ribs trying to get up. I groaned and started rubbing them, but not too hard 'cause that's when the pain felt unbearable.

"She's alive!" Dallas said feigning shock when I entered the dining room. Dallas reminded me too much of the Shepards, and I did _not_ like the Shepards.

I rolled my eyes and said "Yep, now shut it, Dallas." I knew I was testing his patience, but I didn't have a lot of patience at the moment either. I guessed I was probably crossing some sort of line, but why should I give a fuck? I heard about Dallas Winston and he certainly wasn't my friends.

I ignored the shock look on Johnny and Ponyboy's face, and continued to rub my ribs where the hurt. I seriously needed to sit down! So I did, I wasn't even paying attention, so I didn't notice I took the spot in between Dallas and Sodapop.

"Hey, watch it there, Princess." Dallas said with warning. What was he gonna do? Beat me? Sorry, buddy, but my dad's already beaten you to it. Maybe next time.

I rolled my eyes and mumbled "Don't call me that." before I put my head on the table. I could just picture the looks given to me by everyone. Who the fuck cares? Ooh, that's gonna be my new motto.

Who the fuck cares? I like it.

Usually, I wouldn't be this on edge or…upset after a beating, so this mood is definitely different. Maybe it's because it's the morning?

I picked up my head and saw Dallas smirking at me. Boy, I just wanna smack that smirk right off his face, but I know better than to mess with him of all people.

"Alright then…Princess." he said still with that same stupid smirk. Obviously he was amused! Ugh.

I was about to come back with some smartass remark when Ponyboy interrupted the upcoming battle, saying "So…Hailey, feelin' better?" At least Pony has the good sense to not want any blood on the carpet.

I looked to him and just then I noticed Steve, Two-Bit, and Soda all playing cards. This early in the morning? Really? Ugh, whatever.

I knew Darry was in the kitchen playing chef, maybe not _playing_, he was a damn awesome cook. I believe in giving credit where credit is due, and with his cooking, he gets all the credit.

I turned back to Pony after looking over at Soda's cards since he was right next to me. He has some good cards. "I'm feelin' better than I did before, but everything still hurts. I have a huge headache." I added the last part rubbing my head.

Just then Darry came out with a glass of water and an aspirin. Remind me to thank him one day!

Darry handed me the aspirin while saying "Here ya go, kiddo. This should make you feel a little better." I smiled graciously at him before swallowing the pills and downing the rest of the water.

"Thank you." I said when I was finished. I continued watching my brother get his ass beat in poker by Soda. It was funny watching my brother get all frustrated but I had to keep my laughs and giggles to a minimum otherwise he'll 'skin me alive' as he so kindly puts it.

Darry came out with separate plates full with the same thing; eggs and bacon with a glass of orange juice. I sat there staring at my food, poking it around. I wasn't that hungry, and I didn't really feel like eating. I was snapped out of my thoughts when Steve said firmly "Eat."

I looked up at him and noticed that everyone looked up as well, but I didn't really give two shits in that moment. I said just as firmly "What if I don't wanna eat." Again with the testing of the patience.

Steve put his fork down, and all you could hear was the clinking sound. He looked me in the eye and said "You're going to eat anyways." He may be my brother, but there was no way in hell he was going to boss me around! I get enough of that from dad, thank you very much.

I put the fork that I was holding, but not using, down and stared right back at him showing him that I wasn't afraid…at least not how he wanted me to be.

"And who the hell is gonna make me?" I said in a deep voice that was intended to say 'test me'. I knew Steve wouldn't back down, and I was probably going to end up with an empty plate, but I wasn't going down without a fight!

He started eating his food again, and mumbled "Fine, don't eat. Don't make no difference to me." I felt my stomach clench. That stung. Usually, he would put up a better fight, but now it seems like he didn't care. That hurt.

I looked at my food and started eating it. I don't know what compelled me to give in, maybe because I didn't have it in me to fight anymore. I saw Steve smirk =, and realization dawned on me. He knew that would get me to eat! Damn him! He's not as dumb as he looks…or sounds.

I was about to say something when the phone rang. Who would be calling this early? Actually, I didn't even know what time it is. It was morning-that's all I knew. Darry got up to get the phone.

"Hello…yea, she's still here with Steve…we're eating breakfast right now…yea, she's eating…she's feeling better, just got a headache, I gave her some aspirin…okay, one second." knew it was one of my brothers. Probably Kyle, I couldn't picture Austin being up this early, or actually wasting his time and energy picking up a phone, dialing a number, then having to check up on me, or whatever. "Hey, Hailey." he called.

"Yeah?" I called back.

"It's your brother, Kyle." he called again. Ha! I knew it. Even though their practically never around, I know my brothers like the back of my own hand.

I laid my fork down gently, and ran to Darry who was currently holding the phone. "Thanks, Darry." I said taking the phone from his hand. He nodded his 'your welcome' then went back to the dining room. I waited till he was gone to speak, even though I'm pretty sure they'll hear me anyways. Who the fuck cares? "Hey, Kyle." I greeted.

"_Hey, Hales. How ya feelin'?" _his voice was dripping with concern. That's what I loved about Kyle. No matter what happened or what was said, he was always concerned. It's just in his nature. Probably why him and I get along so well.

I smiled and replied "I'm alright. I had a headache, but Dr. Darry gave me some aspirin, so that's gone. I just feel the bruised and stitches."

I heard Kyle sigh and say _"I don't want you to go back there, Hales. I wish you didn't have to." _I couldn't help but smile at his concern. At least I felt that from one of my brothers.

I felt like breaking down, but miraculously contained myself. My voice was shaking when I said "I-I don't wanna go-o b-b-back there, Kyle. I don't. I don't" I said the last part a little quieter. Barley above a whisper.

I felt like I was at my breaking point. I felt all alone. I felt…worthless. I guess my dad accomplished his goal, but it wouldn't be enough for him. It wouldn't be enough until he drove me to the brink of death, whether it was in my hands or his. I hated him!

I heard silence. I wasn't worried, though. Sometimes people just don't know what to say. Been there, done that. Trust me!

"_I know, Hailey, I know." _he sighed then added _"Austin didn't mean what he said, Hales. Trust me."_

I knew he was trying to change the subject or at least make me fell a tiny bit better. I immediately perked up at hearing this because I thought he meant it. It looked like he meant it. I guess it's true when they say 'don't judge a book by it's cover'. Ooh, that could be a topic of conversation with Ponyboy. At least I would have _someone_ to talk to.

I quickly responded "Really? Wait, how do you know that? He looked like he meant it."

"_Yeah, well, sometimes, the truth comes out when drunk. I thought he meant it too, but…he didn't." _Kyle chuckled a little. I chuckled too, it was funny. We should get Austin drunk more often, and see what goes on in that noggin' of his.

"So, how many hookers did he bang last night?" I couldn't help but ask Kyle. Austin had so many 'conquests' that I'm surprised he doesn't have every STD in the book or at least one of them. This is one of the few thing my brothers agree on with me.

Kyle didn't hesitate to answer,_ "Surprisingly, none. I'd say it's progress."_ We both chuckled.

"Definitely. Although, are you sure he was wasted enough?" We both chuckled.

"_Oh, I'm sure."_ He chuckled slightly.

"Hey, Kyle, I'm gonna finish eating breakfast. I'll see ya at home." I had to fight the shudder at the mere thought of being in the same house as that…that…that monster.

I hung the phone up then went right back to eating my breakfast. No way was I going to ruin my first breakfast in ages that I had with Steve. Steve looked up from his food and asked "So, what did Kyle want?" I rolled my eyes for what felt like the thousandth time that day.

Who the fuck cares?

"Nothing. He just wanted to check up on me, and see how I was doin'." I replied. I wanted to tell Steve what I felt at that point. I wanted to tell him that I would rather spend the rest of my life on the street than have to live under that _monster's_ roof anymore. Me and Steve were silent, but that silence was eating away at me. It was killing me. "I can't take it!" I finally shouted dropping my fork on my plate and lifting my hand in the air slightly. Everyone had their eyes on me, but_ who the fuck cares?_ I put my hands on the table and said to Steve "Steve, I don't wanna go home. There's nothing for me there! Please, don't make me go home!"

I know I probably sounded like a child, but I still was a child. A child who went home everyday from school to an alcoholic father who beat me constantly then leaving me there wondering to myself if every breath she took was going to be her last. I didn't want to live like that anymore. I wanted to be _happy!_ I wanted to feel like I belonged, and not like I was worthless.

I hadn't even realized that tears were falling, but good thing I could control most of them. I just wanted to hug Steve and never let him go. I wanted to go with him to work, and never let him out of his sight. I know I sounded clingy, but I've been alone all along that I just want to hold on to someone or something. Something good. And even if I hate to admit it, my brothers are the only good thing that I have.

I then looked around the room, and saw all eyes on me. I was going to cry, but I didn't want to it in front of them. I was trying to hold it back as long as I could and I'm surprised that I did. I noticed that Steve was in his DX shirt but had the whole shirt unbuttoned. I smiled a little because I don't think it's ever been buttoned.

I sighed and walked to the living room and sat down on the couch. I needed to feel comfortable for all the pain I'm in and stress I'm under. The Curtis' may not have much, but they sure as hell have a comfortable couch. It actually soothed me a bit, if that made any sense?

I had my head in my hands and felt the cushion next to me sink in. I didn't know who it was, but I could only assume it was Steve. He put his arm around me, and let me cry into his shirt. And for once, I actually felt safe in the arms of my brother. I sobbed. I knew I was probably going to be embarrassed later when I would eventually look up and see everybody's concerned faces (even Dallas's) and blush furiously. For now, I was content with crying. Weird, right?

For the first time in 14 years, I felt safe.


	4. Chapter 4

Safety-it's something that everybody needs. Whether it's a life preserver or at home snuggled in bed watching your favorite shows over and over again. Everybody needs that safety to fall into every once in a while. Especially when the world just becomes to much for an average person to bear. Me, I've never felt that safety anywhere. I've tried finding a safe place that I can call my own. But being classed a greaser didn't help things much. I tried to look, I searched everywhere I could, but came up at a loss. I have never felt safe in my 14 years of existence. And for a moment, just one moment, I felt safe. Gosh, it was so foreign to me, that I didn't recognize it. It's a good feeling, but passes to quickly. At least in my case it did. Or it felt like it did.

I finished my sob fest in Steve's shirt, and pulled away. I must look as bad as I felt, probably even worse. I chuckled a little at seeing Steve's shirt, it had tear stains on the side I was leaning on. Then I remembered why I was even crying in the first place. And like I said, I blushed furiously. I wanted to crawl in a hole and never come out, then I wouldn't be able to get hurt. And I sure as hell wouldn't have to face them.

"Sorry 'bout your shirt, Steve." I whispered.

He waved it off while saying, "Don't worry 'bout it. It's the least of my concerns, believe me."

I looked past Steve, and out the window. What would it feel like to walk out into the sunlight without a damn care in the world? What would it feel like to go home, and not regret it? What would it feel like to feel okay?

"I don't wanna go back, Steve." I said with my head held low. I didn't care about the other people in the room anymore, I just cared about whether or not I was going home to get another beating today or not.

After what felt like forever, he finally responded "I know, and I don't want you to go back. But if you don't, where will you stay, Hailey?"

I opened my mouth to answer, but nothing came out. He was right-where would I stay? I'm not going anywhere without my brothers (even Austin), and Steve doesn't make enough money to support three, let alone, one kid. Kyle and Austin aren't working.

I sighed and said "Your right, I know your right." Wow, never thought I'd ever say _that _to Steve. I felt defeated. I knew that at the end of the day I would be at 'home'. I guess there's no point in arguing. Last night's beating was no different, so why can't I just take it and move on like I've been doing these past 8 years since it started?

But-will I always just be his punching bag?

I had to fight a shudder at the mere thought that this is something I might never escape. But, I won't escape it. Not really. It will always be a part of me and my…worthless life, I even have multiple scars to prove it.

Steve stayed silent. Again with the fucking silence! Seriously people! Say something! I just finished sobbing and all they can do is…stay _silent?!_

I decided to break the silence and say "Fine, Steve, we'll go 'home'." I used my fingers as quotations. Home? Ha. That place wasn't home! It was merely a house that contains too many tainted memories…too many horrid images…too many bloodstains…and that alcoholic abusive devilish _monster._

My anger was reaching it's peak. I stood up too leave, and faced everyone. I hate being center of attention. Somehow, I managed not to blush. How? I don't know. Who the fuck cares?

I sighed and said "Thanks, for letting me stay here last night. Breakfast was great, and now I'll be on my way." They all nodded in a polite manner. I turned to Steve, and saw him looking up at me. I was always the most polite in the family, even Kyle rarely ever said 'please' and 'thank you'. "Comin', Steve?" I asked him.

He nodded and asked "You gonna be okay walking home by yourself?" Are you serious? I knew I was going to be fine walking home, but that didn't mean I wanted to walk alone. Whatever, he probably just wants to get back to his friends. I should've expected it.

I'm so stupid sometimes!

I nodded reluctantly and left the house, not even bothering to tell any of them 'goodbye'. Who the fuck cares?

I was half way to my house when I heard somebody call my name.

"Hailey, wait up!" The voice seemed distant but yet so close all together. Wait a minute, I know that voice!

"Hey, Curly. What are you doin' out? Thought you'd be hung-over." I called back. I really didn't like the Shepards, but I could act cordial…_some_ of the time. I could get along better with Curly than with Tim. Tim reminded me too much of Dallas Winston, and vice versa. I ain't either of their friends.

He finally caught up to me and starting walking with on my right side. He chuckled and replied "I was hung-over, but it was nothing a little aspirin couldn't fix."

I cocked my eyebrow at him suspiciously and repeated "A little?" He chuckled slightly.

"Okay, maybe more than _a little._" he replied guiltily. Ha, I knew it! I shook my head in disbelief.

"You do know that's potentially dangerous, right?" I asked amused. Curly was easier for me to talk to than Tim. I don't know why. My brothers were closer to Tim than Curly, but still.

He rolled his eyes and replied "Yeah, and I'm pretty sure it's 'potentially dangerous' to smoke and get drunk on a weekly basis." I laughed because it was true! Weekly basis, huh? Even the Shepards drink less than my father.

I rolled my eyes with a smile on my face. "Hey, why'd they let ya outta the cooler?"

Curly shrugged and answered "Got out early for good behavior. Suckers." He mumbled the last part under his breath, but I still heard it. Sucker!

I nodded my head, accepting that answer than said "Where's Kyle and Austin? Hung-over?"

Curly looked at me and said "At my place still, I'm surprised, though." I gave him a questioning look urging him to continue. He added "Austin didn't bang no hookers last night." I giggled a little. That was a surprise for us.

We stopped at the gate in front of my house. I turned to Curly and said "Thanks for walking me home. Steve stayed at the Curtis'."

"No problem." Curly said, adding a shrug. Both of the Shepards can be decent when they wanted to be…when they_ wanted _to be. I still hate the both of them with a burning passion. Hanging around the Shepard gang makes me feel like I'm hanging around a bunch of people who keep relapsing on alcohol every week. It ain't a pretty sight.

I don't even know why Kyle and Austin hang around them. You'd think that they get enough alcohol at home, that they wouldn't need to go to the Shepard residence. I'll have to ask them 'bout it one day.

Me and Curly said our goodbyes and parted ways. Once he was gone, I turned to look at the House of Horror (I named it that 'bout a year ago when I had to go to the hospital because of internal bleeding. Good thing my brother, Austin, found me just in the knick of time.)

I just kept staring at the house, looking at it, waiting for it to do something. Stupid, right? I didn't know if my dad was home, he had to sell his car just to pay the bills (when he was sober, which wasn't often, but still), so now he walked absolutely _everywhere._

After a moment, or two, I finally mustered up (enough) courage to walk through the gate. I stood in front of the door, which was the only barrier that was between me and my future ahead, but needed a moment to get the courage to open it, and see what awaits.

I kept saying to myself that I could still turn around and run away, never looking back, it wasn't too late. But if I walked through the door it could be. He could be there waiting with tequila breath, blotchy red eyes, and ready to kick or punch. I've survived 8 years of this, but every time I thought; Could this be the end for me? Am I going to die? Will this be my last breath?

Those were the same things running through my head yesterday when I was getting a beating, and those are the same things that I'm thinking while I just stare at this door being so indecisive 'bout whether I should continue to go forward through the barrier, which is probably the only thing keeping me safe right now, or turn around and just…run.

Boy, the thought of running appealed to me greatly. But-I'm not going anywhere without my brothers. We stay together!

I made my decision, I'm going to walk through this door with my head held high. I'll take whatever's thrown at me, like I've done all these years. Why should this be any different?

I took a deep breath, opened the door, and walked through. Big mistake!

The minute I walked through, I was already on the ground with a stinging cheek and another bloody nose. It hurt worse than it probably would since I had stitches. I wouldn't be surprised if my cuts and stitches reopened.

"Get up, you little slut!" he growled at me. I wasn't a slut! I was going to yell it at him, but I learned my lesson. I slowly stood up, shaking. Apparently I wasn't fast enough because he roughly grabbed my arm and scream "I said, get up, you bitch!" I could smell the beer and tequila, and had to force myself not to shiver.

Tears were falling rapidly. He roughly pushed me on the floor, grabbed my hair, and started dragging me to the middle of the room. I kept screaming, which only made him slap me a few times telling me to 'shut up, whore.'

When he let go of my hair, he pushed my head back aggressively. Thankfully, I was holding my head, so it didn't do to much damage. I knew I was gonna have a pretty big headache. I was trembling, petrified for what he was going to do next.

"Please, dad, please! Stop! I'm already hurting, please, daddy!" I pleaded, trying to get through to him. Even though I knew it wasn't going to work. It never had before, so why would this time be any different? I was still hurting from the cuts, bruises, and stitches from yesterday. This was just adding salt to my wounds.

Every time this happens, there's always this voice in my head saying 'I'm dead. I'm dead. I'm gonna die. God, I'm dead.' Sometimes, I actually wish it was true. Who wouldn't? Who would want to live and continue going through this pain, misery, emptiness, loneliness, and…worthlessness?

"Quit crying, you worthless bitch!" he hollered. I tried to gain control of myself but it was hard when I couldn't feel anything to control anymore. I felt numb. I lied there, limp less, still breathing but not knowing how much breath I have left. Is this what dying feels like? I had my eyes closed, but I was too afraid to open them. It was too soon to open them.

It would look like I was dead to anyone who walked through the door, and in that moment, I was praying to God that I was. I don't want my brothers to save me this time.

My dad kept wailing on me, screaming profanities at me. What did this look like to him? Did this look _normal _too him? Did this look or feel right to him? God, I hate him! I loathe him with every fiber of my being!

Then suddenly, it stopped. Huh? Did he come to his senses? Probably not, I wouldn't be surprised if his senses vanished because of all that alcohol. Or maybe he's just never had senses.

I wanted to pick up my head, open my eyes, and look around the room, but I couldn't. Everything hurt too much. I heard fighting. Who else could be fighting?

I was lying there deep in thoughts of self-pit and self-loathing when I heard "Keep your hands off o' her, you lousy scumbag!" Wait, I knew that voice. Kyle! I always knew I could count on him!

"Is that anyway to talk to your father, boy?!" I heard my dad growl.

They were screaming at each other while fighting. This has happened before, but not often. Usually, they just find me and take me to the Curtis' for treatment. They rarely ever came home in the midst. Sometimes, I felt like it was better that way. Other times, I would either hope and pray for death or hope and pray for one (or all) of my brothers to walk through the door and get the bastard off o' me.

"Is that anyway to treat you children, douche?!" Kyle screamed back. They still kept fighting and screaming.

After a while, I didn't hear them anymore. There voices were becoming more distant, when I'm pretty sure they were only a few feet away. Is _this_ what dying felt like?

I love you Kyle. I love you Steve. I love you Austin. That was the last thing I thought before my world went black.


	5. Chapter 5

Freedom-it's something that everybody wants. We need safety, but we want freedom. To feel the rush of the ocean, or the wind blowing threw your hair. To just get in your car and drive, not knowing where your heading, and not really caring. Or to not even use a car. I don't have freedom, if anything, my life is just a prison. I'm caged inside my body, screaming, for somebody to save me. To help me.

I don't have a good relationship with Austin, but I do respect him. Maybe that's why. I respect him because he knows what freedom is. He doesn't care if he feels trapped or caged in, he'll find a way to break out. And I'm sure he has as much fun as he can while doing so.

Austin understands freedom. He wants freedom, so he just takes it. I wish I could be like that. But I don't know how. My father has pushed me down so many times (physically and emotionally) that I sometimes forget how to even get back up. And maybe, that's when I wish for death. In those moments when I just…give up.

Give up on hope, prayers, and…freedom. The hope of freedom. The prayer of freedom. The freedom of freedom.

Then I'm left with nothing. Except cuts, bruises, and a pool of blood.

I tried to open my eyes, but couldn't. The last thing I remember was fighting and screaming between my father and brother. Fight and screaming 'bout me. Am I dead? I don't feel alive, but then again, I never really have. I just feel dead…drained.

Where the hell am I? There wasn't anymore screams, threats, fights. This peaceful silence is something I found comfort in.

Wait, where are my brothers? Are they alright? Where am I? These are all questions and thoughts that kept running through my mind. Questions and thoughts that I wanted to scream, even if it was too nobody. But I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. I felt like I couldn't even breathe because I was so scared.

Then I heard voices, three to be precise. Then I heard more. I lost track after five voices total, but I knew there were more.

"You fucking idiot! You let her not only walk, but face that monster alone!" I heard one scream. I knew that was Kyle.

"I thought she was gonna be fine. Our old man usually ain't here durin' the day!" Steve shouted back, trying to defend himself. I was peeved off at Steve. How could he let me go home, _home _of all places, alone? Why would he even let me _walk _alone? He knows damn well that those damn socs are looking to jump greasers every twenty seconds while they ride around in their blue mustangs and wear their colorful madras. I was pissed.

Austin joined the argument, "You thought this, you thought that, that's the problem with you, Steve! You never think! Unless it's 'bout cars or girls, and now are sister is laying down, possibly lifeless, because _'you thought'_!" You tell 'em Austin!

"Alright, alright, cool it. Listen, this is no one's fault. And, Austin, she ain't lifeless." Darry said, stepping into the argument and trying to be the mediator of everything. I respected that 'bout him. Truthfully, it was hard not to.

Kyle sighed (defeated?) and said, "Darry's right, you guys. This ain't no one's fault. Sorry, Steve." I heard a pat, which I can only assume was Kyle giving Steve a reassuring pat on the shoulder or back. God, I hated not being able to see anything.

I heard Steve say, "Don't worry 'bout it, man, I get it."

"No, I believe it's Steve's fault." Austin said, obviously not happy 'bout the blame being put _off_ of Steve. Thank you, Austin!

I heard a jab, which I'm guessing, was Kyle jabbing his elbow into Austin's side (roughly, I imagine.) I heard Austin groan slightly and then said "Don't worry 'bout it, Stevie. It ain't your fault." I wanted to chuckle, but…couldn't. Man, thus sucks!

What the hell is wrong with me anyways? I'm assuming nothing good.

"Is she gonna be alright?" I heard Steve ask. (Who? I'm not sure.)

Yeah, am I gonna be alright?

I heard a deep sigh. That can't be a good sign. "I had to redo her previous stitches plus do some more, she has bruises all over her stomach, arms, and legs plus some bruised ribs, and she may have a concussion." I heard Darry say. Eh, I can only imagine what I must look like.

Well, no wonder why I can barely move. I think I'm gonna start calling Darry, Dr. Darry. It suits him for everything medical he's done to help me.

I actually gained control of my hands and fingers and a little bit of my voice. I started to groan and move my fingers around viciously. Almost as if they were in a war with themselves. I could also move my toes and feet. I guess I'm at the Curtis's. I groaned loudly again.

Ugh! Wasn't I just here? Dammit!

I could only think one thing at the moment: Help. Now if only I could let the words in my head, leave my mouth, then all would be peachy. Or as peachy as it can get in this situation.

I hadn't opened my eyes yet, but I can practically feel all of their intent stairs burning through me. As if I wasn't in enough pain already!

I don't even know how, or why, but I managed to open my eyes. It was blurry at first, but got better. All I could hear were everybody's breaths, and all I could feel was the pain. The pain of not being able to fend for myself, the pain of knowing how much pain I'm putting everyone else through, the pain of feeling numb and defeated, and the pain of feeling…worthless.

I tried to sit up, but to no avail. I couldn't, I just…couldn't. Maybe I just didn't want to. I felt paralyzed all over. I finally got control of my voice whispered what I've been wanting to say this entire time, "Help."

Instantly, my three brothers were by my side, sitting me up. Everything hurt, but at the same time, I couldn't feel anything. How is that possible?

I've been holding in too many tears for too long. I must have because I just broke down and cried. I didn't even know who's shoulder I was leaning on, but I didn't care. I just wanted to cry and tell someone what I was feeling, even if they didn't listen. Or didn't want to listen. But…I broke.

Through the tears I said "Everything hurts! I barely made it through the door when it started! I thought I was dead!" I then added, "I don't wanna go back there! Please, please don't make me go back there!"

I couldn't stop crying, I tried to, but I knew I didn't try hard enough. I didn't want to stop crying since I've been holding it in for so long. Too long.

I stopped crying, but I was still trembling uncontrollably. I…couldn't stop. It seems like I can't do a lot of things around here, can I? Tell me again why I haven't ran far away from here yet. There's nothing for me here, except my brothers! I don't wanna leave them behind, but I don't know how much more of this I can actually take.

I looked up and noticed that only my brothers and the Curtis's were there. Dallas must be in jail, Two-Bit must be watching Mickey, and Johnny must be sleeping outside. I realized something in that moment. Everyone who was in that room/gang was seriously fucked up one way or another. Maybe I fit in here after all. Maybe that's why Steve fits in here. And maybe that's why Kyle and Austin fit in with the Shepards. Why the hell am I just realizing this right now?

I chuckled a little and said "I must look awful, huh?" Everybody in the room started shaking their head and saying 'nah', but I knew better. "Thanks." I mumbled with a chuckle.

I sighed, turned to my brother, and said "I'm not goin' home. I would rather spend my life on the streets or in prison than go back to that house." My brothers nodded in understanding.

Kyle, who was the shoulder I was crying on, sighed and said "We know, Hales, but we don't know what to do." I nodded because I knew it wouldn't be that easy.

The four of us sat there defeated with our shoulders slumped.

Darry must have felt real sorry for me, or my brother(s), because he said "You can stay here, Hailey. I can sleep in my parents old room, Soda and Pony can sleep in my room, and you can sleep in Soda and Pony's room. I don't want you goin' back to that place, Hale." Hale? Honestly, the name was the last thing on my mind. Did Darrel Curtis just tell me, not even ask, but tell me to stay in his house? Under his roof? Living on his dime?

Is he fucking crazy? I didn't want to go back home, but I didn't want to be anybody's problem either!

I quickly stood up, ignoring the agonizing, and I mean _agonizing_, pain and said "No, Darry. Thank you, but no. I don't wanna be a bother!"

Ponyboy jumped in and said "You could never be a bother, Hailey. Were tired o' seein you hurt, and we know it's killin' Steve." We all noticed the glare Steve sent Ponybody, but decided to ignore it. But boy, if looks could kill! I smiled a little at the fact that my brother cared so much. I expected it from Kyle, but not Steve.

Then I remembered the issue at hand and said "No, I'm not staying here. I don't wanna be livin' off your dime, Darry. And yours Sodapop."

Soda joined the argument saying "So, would you rather go home just to come back in mortifying and painful conditions?" I felt like it was half-rhetorical and half-serious. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Sodapop nodded his head and added "Thought so. So, what's the problem then?"

I sighed exasperated and after a moment, reluctantly said "Well, let's assume that I _did_ stay here, where would my brothers stay? I ain't leaving them behind?"

Austin quickly responded "No one's askin' you to leave us behind, Hailey." I scoffed, not pleased with that answer.

Kyle positioned himself on the armrest of the couch and replied "Me and Austin can stay with the Shepards. They ain't too far from here, don't you worry." I rolled my eyes, Kyle then added "We talked 'bout this, Hales, and we decided that you ain't goin' back there."

A part of me, a big part of me, was relieved to hear those words. Those are the words that I wanted to hear for so long. I would've gone too hell and back again to hear those words, which in my opinion, I have.

Wait a minute, what 'bout Steve? Mean, don't get me wrong, I'm still super pissed at the guy, but I don't want him on the streets or at home. I'm still pissed, though!

I look to Steve and asked "Wait a minute, what about you?"

He shrugged and said "I'll be goin' back and forth between here and the Shepards. I'll probably waste my time over there when Dally's there. Otherwise, I'm here." I rolled my eyes. They really have this figured out, don't they?

I rubbed my head and asked "How long was I out?"

"Not long, just maybe fifteen minutes after we set ya down on the couch." Austin answered.

I dropped my hand to my side and sighed slightly. "You guys thought of this while I was out, didn't you?" I wondered aloud. My voice became quiet, mostly 'cause I hadn't meant for them to hear me, but they did anyways. Oh, well. Who the fuck cares?

Ponybody nodded and answered "Yeah, yeah we did." Everyone in the room smirked slightly. I chuckled.

Is this rally happening? I won't have to go back to that House of Horror? I started to tear at the thought. Everybody looked concerned at first, but I think my reassuring smile helped things along. Oh my god! I don't have to go back!

I think I definitely surprised Darry when I suddenly jumped into his big arms and hugged him with everything I could. With all the thankfulness, gratefulness, and happiness I had! "Thank you, thank you so much! I don't have to go back! Thank you for not letting me go back!" I ran to Pony and hugged him for a while, Then I walked to Sodapop and hugged him. I then turned to look at my brothers, and grinned at them. I wiped the fallen tears from my eyes, and actually forgot the pain I was in for a moment. Just a moment. "Thank you, guys. All of you." I said while grinning at them. "And Steve, I'm comin' with you to work."

Steve looked like he was ready to protest, but thankfully, Soda opened his mouth before he could and said "Come on, Steve. She needs the fresh air." I beamed at Soda. Thank you Soda!

"Yeah, Steve. I need the fresh air. And I ain't hurtin' too bad." I pleaded with Steve. Sadly, just after I said that, winced in _agonizing_ pain. Okay, maybe I am hurtin' that bad. But still, I ain't gonna let it stop me.

This had probably been the only time when I felt anything but…worthless.


	6. Chapter 6

Relief-it's something you either have or don't. You feel relief when you grow up, and realize that there aren't any monster under your bed. You feel relieved when that boy that you like (and admire from afar) broke up with his girlfriend to be with someone else, then it just makes you anxious and hopeful to find out if it was you or not. The moment I first felt relief was when my hero, Darrel Curtis, told me he isn't gonna let me go back home. I've been wanting to hear somebody, anybody, say that to me for what felt like forever. To hear somebody tell me it's gonna be okay, even if they didn't know themselves, because I just wanted that comfort and temporary relief. I needed it.

I was sitting on the counter at the DX, the gas station my brother and his friend work at full time together, with the stupidest grin on my face. No matter how hard I tried, it refused to go away. I was sure my face was gonna be stuck like that.

I heard chuckling behind me, so I turned my face to see who it was. I saw Sodapop chuckling slightly with a smirk to math his amused expression. He said "You know, I don't think I've seen someone smile so much in my life, Hale." Hale? I laughed a little.

"It's easy to smile when you have something to smile 'bout, don't ya think, Sodapop?" I replied, the smile never leaving my features. He smiled along with me.

"Yeah, yeah it is." he responded. "Hey, wait a minute, where the hell did your brother run off to?" he added, absentmindedly. We looking around us, but never moving from our spots. Steve couldn't have gone far, after all, it is his job.

I giggled and said "I don't know, probably went to sneak in a quick smoke." He laughed along with me, but I stopped laughing when I spotted Steve. I added "Well, he sure ain't getting' high off o' smokes. Look." I pointed to where I saw my brother, standing with Evie outside the DX. They were talking and laughing and making me sick to my stomach.

I never liked Evie. I tried to give her a chance at first 'cause she was, after all, my brother's girl, but she didn't care. She wants to be the only girl in Steve's life, the only 'apple of his eye'. She should realize that she already is. I ain't close with Steve. I think she viewed me as some type of 'competition' or whatever. She wants to be the only girl in Steve's life, she's a greedy whore like that. I hate her. Did I mention that I hate her? Well, I do.

Oh, well. Who the fuck cares?

I seriously hate Evie, but she seems to make my brother happy. So I guess I can tolerate her…for now. I guess.

Sodapop cleared his throat and asked bluntly, "You don't like her, do ya?" I looked down, and after a moment, slowly nodded guiltily.

"No, no I don't. But she makes my brother happy, so that's all that matters." I said quietly in a whisper. I don't know why I felt so guilty 'bout not liking someone. Maybe because she was the girl my brother was in-love with. The girl who my brother opened up to 'bout everything. The girl who changed a big part of my brother and the way he views certain things. Evie is really the only person my brother trusts and lets in completely. He won't even talk to me or my brothers, and I think even Soda pop 'bout certain things, the way he does with Evie.

And even though I hate, and I do mean _hate_, to admit this, but it seems like Evie's a pretty good listener when it comes to my brother. I believe Evie loves Steve, so much that she doesn't want to picture Steve loving any other girl in his life. Including me. I think she's a good girlfriend…just don't fuck with her and her boyfriend, then all will be fine.

I see the way my brother looks at Evie. He looks at her with nothing, but…love. I may not like Evie, but I've always envied their relationship.

I want to find a love like that, and I hope I will someday.

Soda came around the counter to stand next to where I was sitting. He leaned against the counter on my left side and said "Well, don't look now, but their headin' our way." Great, just what I need.

I groaned softly, and Sodapop chuckled. They entered the gas station, and walked towards us immediately. Maybe I shouldn't have come today. Think they'll notice me?

"Hey, Hailey. What have you been up to?" Evie asked in a voice that sounded like we were friends who lost touch after a while. So _not_ the case!

It even almost had me fooled for a second. _Almost._

I put on my fakest smile and replied in the sweetest way I could, saying "Oh, nothing. This and that. What 'bout you, Evie?" Sodapop must've noticed the phoniness behind me smile and tone because he couldn't help but chuckle. I chuckled softly along with him.

Evie shot me the most subtle glare I've ever seen, and I've seen quite a few from her, and put on a fake smile to match mine then said, "Oh, this and that." How did Steve not notice what a raving bitch she was?

I looked down just in enough time to see Evie entwine her fingers with Steve's. I then saw the smile on his face…and hers. They loved each other. They really, really loved each other.

Steve knew we hated each other, but he didn't care. As long as he liked/loved her and she made him happy, nothing else mattered. Nothing or…no one. That was Steve's mindset, the way he viewed things. And that's why he never fully gets along with me or my brothers because, well, family is everything. Family comes _first._ Growing up, we never had our mom or dad, we always had each other. We relied on each other and looked to each other for guidance. Steve threw some of that away after he met Evie. I guess he thought that he didn't fully need us, or maybe he thought that we didn't need him. In fact, I don't think that Steve would even care if me and my brothers just packed up and left him. He would have Evie by his side, and that's all that would matter.

Evie never got along with Kyle, but she could get along pretty well with Austin. That never surprised me, though. Kyle and I are too similar for him to like Evie or vice versa, but Austin and Evie seemed to hit it off. Austin was a little bit like Steve just worse, so maybe that's why they got along. The only difference is that Austin didn't take on responsibilities like a job, all he's concerned 'bout is his alcohol level or lack of. One of the many reason why _I_ don't get along with him.

Steve walked behind the counter, dragging Evie gently by the hand. He obviously didn't want to let go, and neither did she. Whatever.

I rolled my eyes once they were out of eyesight, sighed, and turned around, saying "So, what are you two up to today?" Eve rolled her eyes slightly, so slightly that I had to do a double take to make sure I saw correctly. What the hell is her problem?

"When I get off work, we're gonna get something to eat at The Dingo." Steve answered. I nodded. Well, that's great, I have absolutely nothing to do today. Perfect. I was thinking 'bout what to do since Steve won't be there to keep me company when Steve asked me "What you are gonna do?" I shrugged.

"I don't know. Maybe I'll see what Kyle is doin', or even Austin. Although, their probably too far up the Shepards asses." I ended with a small chuckle. It's true.

Steve chuckled slightly too, but didn't notice the hateful glare that Evie sent my way. What did I ever do to her? "Maybe I'll even hang at the Shepards." I said absentmindedly. I really hadn't meant for anyone to hear it, especially Steve. He doesn't like it when I hang at the Shepards vs. the Curtis'. I never knew why, I always thought it was because the Shepards through gigantic parties with booze, drugs, and sex, while the Curtis'…didn't.

"What? Hell no, you're not goin' there." Steve said quickly. Evie looked at him quizzically, probably wondering why he cared so much for a dumb broad like me. Uh, I'm his sister? Hello!

Wait. Just. A. Minute. He didn't care if I walked home by myself or not, knowing very well I would get jumped and beaten one way or the other between our dad and the incompetent (and probably, heavily intoxicated) socs, but now he decides to act all big brotherly and protective, telling me that I can't go to the Shepards? Not to mention, my other overprotective brothers will be? Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me?

I gave Steve a look of complete disbelief. How dare he!

"What?" I asked out of shock. I still didn't know what to say.

"I don't want you at the Shepards. Their gang isn't the kind of gang you should get involved in." Steve replied. He was obviously confused by my response and look.

"Why?" I said in a more firm and confident tone. Let's see where this goes, shall we?

"Because you're my sister, and I care for your well-being." Steve answered in a tone like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

He should've just kept his damn mouth shut!

"Yeah, well, you really don't get a say." I replied. Everyone turned to look at me in shock, even Evie, but I really couldn't give a fuck right now. I continued, "You know, Steve, you didn't seem to care 'bout my well-being when you said that I could walk home alone. When you knew very well that there was a good chance that our old man was gonna be home, just waiting for me. Did you care 'bout my well-being then too? Or did it just not cross your mind? Kyle and Austin are _so_ right when they say that you don't think! I _am_ going to the Shepards tonight, try and stop me." I turned to walk out of the DX because I, honestly, couldn't stand being in the same room as Steve (and Evie) right now. When I had my hand on the door handle, I turned around and said, "Oh, that's right. You won't be able to try and stop me because you'll, no doubt, be playing kissy face with this one over there at The Dingo." I pointed towards Evie with hostility. Their shocked expressions grew wider because they knew I didn't like Evie, hell, they knew I hated her, but I had never been so open 'bout it. It came as a surprise for me too.

I was just so angry. With one last hateful glare, I turned and walked out of the gas station. I smelled the fresh air and the only relief I felt in that moment was knowing that I didn't have to go home. I could stay out all day and not give a damn! Of course, Darry gave me a curfew, which I plan to go by, but it was still early and I wanted to do something fun. Something I never thought I would do before.

Anger that builds up inside of you for many years gives you the courage to do something that you wouldn't have done before. Whether it's because of rebellion, revenge, strength, etc…

I didn't know what to do, so decided to take a stroll around (our side of) town to get a little inspiration. I hoped it would come soon because I still did need to get home. I walked a cross a bunch of malls, stores, even a couple of gas stations, but found nothing.

Then, just when I was 'bout to turn around and go home, giving it up and maybe savig it for another day, it was standing right in front of me. I actually wasn't _that _far from the DX, but still. I looked up In awe. It was perfect…exactly what I needed to do…and I was gonna do it.

I fished around in my pocket to see if I was carrying money. I usually do, just in case anything ever happened. And I didn't like carrying a purse or wallet because t gives easier access for socs (and some dickhead greasers) to just snatch it. I sighed in relief when I took out a wad of money that I made sure to have with me at all possible times. I rarely left the house without it. (Good thing I had it with me, so that way I wouldn't have to go back to that House of Horror to get it back, or worse, leave it there for that monster to steal.)

I had $85 on me. It wasn't that cheap, but also not that expensive for what I was 'bout to do. I was gonna do it! I needed to…

Before I walked into the shop, I mumbled to myself, "Let's get a tattoo."


	7. Chapter 7

Pain-we all feel it. It comes in more forms than one. Some pain is only temporary like a paper cut, but other pain is there to stay. Whether it's physical, emotional, mental, etc… We all experience pain one way or the other. I've felt pain for most of my life, for as long as I can remember. I felt pain every time my father hit or kicked me, knocking me off my feet. I felt pain every time my father yelled some untrue profanity at me. I felt pain every time Darry Curtis was stitching me up, trying to get me back on my feet. Hell, I felt pain every time I was at the Curtis' and saw everybody having a good time. I even felt pain every time I saw the interaction between the Curtis brothers themselves and wondered why my brothers couldn't be like that with each other.

But the pain I was about to feel right now was something I needed to do, and I was gonna do it. I was gonna feel the pain of a needle piercing my skin, but in the end, it was gonna be worth it. It will all be worth it.

I entered the tattoo parlor, and headed straight for the counter. I immediately held out my hand and greeted with, "Hey, I'm Hailey."

He took my hand and introduced himself as, "Corey. Nice to meet ya." I nodded politely. This guy was really tatted. Besides his face, there were barely any empty skin that was showing. Somehow, I wasn't even nervous. Anxious, maybe. Excited, most definitely. But not nervous. That must be a good sign.

"You too. I wanna get the word 'Unbreakable' on the back of my neck." I said quickly. I kinda felt awkward being here, just 'cause it was a weird new change of scenery.

He nodded his agreement and said "Got it. It'll take a few minutes to make the stencil, so feel free to have a seat. I won't be long." I nodded graciously. Good, now that _that's _done and over with, I can relax and just…wait.

This is probably the best I've ever felt in my entire life. I wonder what my brothers would say. Would they even care? Probably not. Plus they've done worse things then this. Or at least, I'm guessing. I wouldn't be surprised.

15 minutes later, Corey called me to follow him in the back, saying that he had the stencil completed. He placed the stencil on the back of my neck, gave me a mirror, and told me to look. I did as I was told and I _loved _it. I feel like I fell in-love with a simple tattoo that wasn't even permanent yet. Stupid, right?

I grinned like the world was gonna end and quickly nodded my eager acceptance. He chuckled and said "Alright, then. Just sit in this chair, and we'll get started." I nodded and did as I was told. He broke me from my thoughts, saying "Excited, huh?" I wasted no time nodding my head. "Is this your first tattoo?" he asked curiously. I nodded my head, not ashamed to admit it. I noticed that I really wasn't talking much, and I think he noticed too. He was polite enough to not bring it up. Thank God! "So, what made you get a tattoo?"

Was this guy really gonna talk to me like he wasn't 'bout to break my skin. Like literally 'bout to break my skin. I found it kind of weird, but hey, whatever gets the job done. He hadn't started giving me the tattoo yet because he was still setting up.

After a moment, I answered, "I just got out of a bad situation at home, I then got into a little argument with my brother, and I've been really wanting to do something that's just different from anything else I've done. I thought getting a tattoo was perfect because it's permanent." I don't even know why I was telling him this. Maybe I needed someone to talk to more than I thought. Plus, I would be here for a while, so might as well make myself get comfortable.

"How little was this argument?" he asked me.

I answered, "Well, it wasn't little, but I'm sure it was to him. And right now, he's probably with his girlfriend, either at his job or The Dingo, displaying way too much PDA." I giggled despite myself. I was still pissed at him.

I finally heard the roar of the tattoo gun, but didn't feel anything yet. And…now I did. It hurt like crazy, but I've dealt with much more. I can handle a little tiny needle. Trust me! Truthfully, it feels better than one of my dad's beatings.

"May I ask what this 'bad situation at home' was?" he asked me. It honestly sounded like he was just trying to get to know me. No one ever really tried to get to know me before. I don't even think my brothers, even Kyle, knew what my favorite color was. They didn't know the first thing 'bout me.

"My dad. He's not a very nice man. He drinks too much, and he sure knows how to throw a punch. The only time he pays the bills is once every month, which is probably the only time of the month when he's sober." I said bitterly. Man, I hate that man. I loathe that man. I never loved that man like my father. I always loved the thought of him being locked behind jail bars, never being able to get out and walk free.

Corey cleared his throat, and I'm pretty sure he didn't know what to say. I wanted to tell him that's okay, because I didn't even know what to say half the time, but I knew that it wouldn't make a difference. "So, anyway, tell me 'bout your brothers girlfriend. You don't like her?" Wow, am I really that obvious?

"That obvious, huh?" I asked rhetorically with a chuckle. After a moment, I said, "No, as a matter of fact, I hate her. She wants to be the only girl in my brothers life, or something like that. But she's not the only girl since I'm around, and she doesn't like that. I'm his sister, but she just doesn't get it."

"Does your brother know you two hate each other?" he asked, curiously. Alright, was this man a tattoo artist, or a therapist?

I answered anyway, "Yeah, he knows. He doesn't care. As long as he loves her, then that's all that matters to him. I'm glad she makes him happy, and I know that he makes her happy, but still. I'm his sister, he has two other brothers, we're his family, but he doesn't care when all he needs is his girlfriend." I knew I was probably rambling a little, but who the fuck cares? I then added, "Growing up, all me and my brothers had were each other. And my brother moved on from that when he met his girlfriend."

"Where's your mother in all of this?" he asked. What are we playing, 20 questions? Honestly, I forgot 'bout my mother. I don't even know where she is, and don't care.

I snorted and replied "I don't even know, nor do I care. All my life, she's been turning the other cheek and pretending like nothing was happening. Like nothing was ever wrong. Half the time, she even acted like we had the perfect family. I don't think she realizes half the stuff my father put us through. And I don't even think she cares." I then quickly muttered a nonchalance "Whatever."

"And what 'bout your other brothers?" I froze, not that I could really move anyway. Kyle and Austin…what could I say 'bout them? What was there to say 'bout them? I could give this guy the whole sob story 'bout how I fight with Austin on a daily basis, or how I feel like Kyle is the only one who cares, but I still don't feel like he understands me. What could I say?

I hesitantly answered, not knowing how to start. "My one brother and I don't get along. We fight constantly, and we're always lookin' to get the last word. Sometimes it gets so bad that one of us will have to leave the room and stay away for a while. It hasn't been as bad as it used to be, but it ain't much better." I paused, trying to figure out what I could say 'bout Kyle. I finally found the words, I think, and said "My other brother cares, a lot. He's made his share of mistakes, but he's always found a way to make them up. He was the one who took care of me, while my other brothers would think of me as a burden. Sure, we argue, but we can't stay mad at each other for long. It's usually forgotten the next hour."

When I was younger, Kyle was the one who would feed me, put me to bed, and take care of me when he could. Then at the end of the day, he would party it up at the Shepards. The only way I could feel fine at the Shepards is if Kyle and/or Austin is there. Me and Austin may fight, but we care. I argue with Austin to defend myself, while I think Austin argues with me to make me a stronger person. Strange, right?

I felt like I was in a therapy session more than a tattoo parlor. The only thing reminding me we were in a tattoo parlor was the sound of the tattoo gun and the uncomfortable pain. The pain wasn't as bad as it was before, but it was still there…

"It's lookin' good." he commented. I smiled in anticipation. I can't wait to see it. "So, tell me, why did you chose 'Unbreakable'?" I knew exactly why I chose 'Unbreakable.'

I smirked and replied "Because after goin' through everything that I have, I feel like I'm unbreakable. Like nothing can hurt me the way it used to." I then thought of something and asked "Hey, you wouldn't happen to do piercing here, do you?"

I could imagine a surprised look on his face, but he answered, "Yeah, we do." Good, I thought. I've always wanted to get a few things pierced, I guess now's the time to do it.

"Good, we'll discuss that when we're done with this." I said in response. It kind of came out more mischievous than I wanted it to.

He chuckled and asked, "What are you planning to get pierced?" He sounded amused. Hey, I would be too if I was him. I'm a little amused myself. I come in here to get a tattoo, and I'll be walking out with a few extra…things.

"My belly button, cartilage, eyebrow, and nose." I answered without hesitation. I already had a triple piercing in my earlobes.

"Wow, that's quit a list." he commented. So what? It's not like he's getting them, so he can keep that mouth of his shut!

I rolled my eyes and said "Yeah, I've been wanting them for some time. Might as well get 'em now."

"Well, you'll be getting' them real soon because we're done." He turned the tattoo gun off, put some time of fluid on my tattoo, wiped it off, gave me a mirror, and told me to look. I did as I was told, and felt like I was blown away. I couldn't have asked for anything better. I love it! I love it! I love it!

I couldn't stop my grinning, so he said "I'm glad you like it." I nodded me head.

"Love. I love it. Thank you, so much." I felt a small part of my previous emptiness fill in when I looked at the tattoo. I don't know why. I knew I was right when I felt like I needed to do this. "Now, how 'bout those piercing?" I spoke trailing off a little bit.

He smiled, and said "Sit back down. It won't take long." He gave me a glass full of a bunch of studs to chose from. I picked the ones I wanted, so he got them out and ready. He turned to me, and asked, "Which one do you wanna start with?"

I contemplated for a moment, then answered, "Nose." He made the little dot, and soon enough, the gun went off. I always hated the loud sound they made, but it didn't hurt too bad. Just uncomfortable. I've felt worse. Trust me!

"Next?" he asked me. I was too lost in thoughts to have paid attention, so I looked at him quizzically. He chuckled and responded "What do you want me to do next?" Oh.

I thought for a moment, and said, "Eyebrow." I could feel a gigantic pinch when he pierced my eyebrow. I managed to hold back from saying the 'Ow!' I so badly wanted to scream.

It sure as hell got my attention, though. "Next?" he asked me.

I wasted no time answering, "Cartilage." Alright, I have a pretty good feeling that there's gonna be after pain of the cartilage. I don't care, I'm just glad that I got it done. I've wanted these for so long.

"Alright, that just leaves the belly button. Roll up your shirt, a little." he commanded. I did as he said and soon enough, it was done. It hurt when he pierced the belly button, but it mostly hurt where there was fat.

"All done." Corey said with finality. Finally, we were done! The place looked a little homey, which made it creepy because it's a tattoo parlor. It's not supposed to be homey, right? Who the fuck cares?

I followed Corey back up to the counter to pay. Tattoos and piercing don't come free, that's for sure.

"That'll be $56.79." he said.

I handed in an even $60, and said, "Keep the change." He smiled at me graciously, which I returned.

I was 'bout to leave when he called, "Thanks, Hailey." I turned back to smile at him. I didn't even think he remembered my name.

I replied "No problem, Corey." And with one last wave, I walked out.

It was sunny still, I didn't even have to go home right now if I didn't want to. I could explore the city before their expecting me back. Where should I go? The DX is not an option. I don't have to go back to the Curtis' yet. Where?

There's so many places, but then I remembered the argument between me and Steve.

_*Flashback*_

"_I _am_ going to the Shepards tonight, try and stop me." I turned to walk out of the DX because I, honestly, couldn't stand being in the same room as Steve (and Evie) right now. When I had my hand on the door handle, I turned around and said, "Oh, that's right. You won't be able to try and stop me because you'll, no doubt, be playing kissy face with this one over there at The Dingo." I pointed towards Evie with hostility. Their shocked expressions grew wider because they knew I didn't like Evie, hell, they knew I hated her, but I had never been so open 'bout it. It came as a surprise for me too_.

_*End Flashback*_

I knew exactly where I was going.


	8. Chapter 8

Mistakes-we all make them. It's a part of being human. If you haven't made a mistake then you haven't lived/ If you haven't made a mistake then you aren't human. We need to make mistakes to learn. And we don't know if something's a mistake unless we try. Mistakes are 'bout trial and error…right or wrong…yes or no. I've made plenty of mistakes, but I always know that it's worth it. Mistakes are a part of living. They make us who we are. They guide us through this crazy thing called life. I take my mistakes, and hold them proud. I'm not ashamed.

I said before that Kyle has made his share of mistakes, but he always manages to make them up. Kyle is the prime example of what 'living and learning' truly means. He's not afraid of the mistakes he's made. I believe that if given the chance to go back in time and fix or change a number of those mistakes, he wouldn't. He wouldn't change a damn thing 'bout him. That's something I not only respect, but admire about my brother.

I don't know if showing up at the Shepards doorstep is a mistake or not, but I'm gonna find out. I know why I'm here, but I don't wanna be. I don't wanna be anywhere near Tim or Curly. I don't like parties, especially not theirs. So, why am I here?

Oh, that's right. I have absolutely nothing better to do while my brother is currently at The Dingo with his possessive girlfriend, and probably not even caring if I was dead or alive. Just as long as he has his girlfriend to help him through the aftermath, then all will be swell. Right?

See the bitter sarcasm? I think you do.

I rang the doorbell, all the while thinking that I don't wanna be here and that I should just turn around and walk home. It wasn't early, but it wasn't late. I didn't have to be back at the Curtis', or my temporary 'home', for a few more hours. Darry told me to be back at eleven, and it was only six.

Pulling me from my thoughts, someone actually had the courtesy to get up and open the door (I wonder how much time, energy, and possibly arguing to decide who was gonna get up and waste a few seconds of their life, it actually took one of them to open up the friggin' door!), and low and behold, I come face-to-face with Dallas Winston.

Okay, I had to admit, I had a feeling he would be here, but I'm just surprised he wasted the energy. Maybe he's not wasted enough yet? But he was shirtless.

Once he saw me, he plastered his stupid signature smirk on his features and said, "Well, hello there, Princess. What can I do you for?" Ugh! Again with the princess! Although, in retrospect, I didn't know what I was expecting. Especially from Dallas Winston.

I shrugged and said, "I was in the neighborhood. Thought I'd stop by. Are my brothers here?" My brothers got along with Dallas pretty well. Better than I ever could. That's for sure. They were buddies, much to my dismay.

He nodded his head once and said, "Yeah, you're brothers are here. Wanna join the fun?" He said the last part mischievously. Uh, ew! What kind of fun did _he_ have in mind? Scratch that. I knew _exactly_ the kind of fun he had in mind, and let me repeat, ew!

I'm just here because I was bored, and I already told Steve that I wold be here whether he liked it or not. So since I'm stubborn, and refuse to give Steve the satisfaction, I'm here. Exactly where I said I'd be.

I rolled my eyes and quipped, "Your kind of fun, or mine?" He shrugged. Really, that's it? That's the only response I get from the big tough dangerously juvenile hood that everybody talks 'bout? I smirked and added, "Your not a big talker." I said it more as a statement then a question.

He shrugged again and said, "Nope, I'm a drinker." I rolled my eyes annoyed. Well, yeah, I figured that much. Duh! Dumbass.

I looked at him then passed him slightly. Was he gonna let me through the door, so that way I could 'join the fun'? "Well, are you gonna let me in, or what?" I snapped annoyed. He stepped our of the way, holding the door open for me. That's probably the most gentlemanly thing he's capable of. I rolled my eyes again, for what felt like the thousandth time that day, and muttered, "Thanks." He shrugged and walked away to sit on the couch. I mumbled under my breath, "Wow, I'm surprised he isn't dead from exhaustion. Those few steps must've been hard."

The place was exactly how I remembered it. The Shepards never did like change, obviously if they've been having the same routine every week that consists of only partying and living it up. The biggest change they could probably make would be to actually manage their alcohol intake. I'm surprised they haven't dropped dead yet. But then again, they can't drink much when their in the cooler. Which is probably once, maybe twice, every month. They somehow manage to always get out early. Actually, they'd probably drop dead if they go longer than a week without drinking. But the day they gain control will be the day pigs fly.

Even if that ever did happen, I'd be more shocked at the Shepards change then the pigs wings.

Everybody wasn't completely wasted, but everybody was definitely buzzed. The whole place stank of alcohol and cigarettes. Steve tried showing me how to smoke a cigarette, but I…burned myself. Another mistake of mine. He said he was trying to show me how to be 'tuff', or whatever. I didn't want to smoke, and I never touched another cigarette after that time. I coughed my brains out just on the first puff.

I crinkled my nose in disgust. I looked over the crowd to see if my brothers were there at all. I didn't spot Kyle right away, but I instantly saw Austin coming down the stair, shirtless, and with a petite blonde following closely behind. You could tell he just got laid. I, seriously, hope he has the good sense to use protection. His jaw dropped when he saw me. The blonde had walked away from my brother to probably hook up with some other taker. Poor fella'.

I smirked sarcastically and waved my fingers at him. He walked over to me and said, "What are you doing here, Hailey?" That's the welcome I get? Thank you, Austin, I really do feel the love just radiating off of your newly fucked glow!

I smirked amused and said sarcastically, "What? I can't spend quality time with my brothers?" He looked at me intently, obviously noticing the sarcasm and not accepting it for an answer. I sighed reluctantly and said, "Well, if you must know, Steve pissed me off so I decided to return the favor." He sighed.

"Fine, you can stay. Just…stay outta trouble." He bid reluctantly. I nodded my head agreeing. And what trouble did he expect _me_, of all people, to get into? It's not like I drink, nor do I smoke. I'm still a virgin, so what the hell is his problem? The blonde must not have been a good enough fuck for him. Poor baby.

I sat on the couch, not expecting to do much, but it surprised me when Dallas started conversing. "So what did Steve do to piss you off?" he asked me amused. I'm sorry, I must've forgot the part where I said that it was any of his damn business! I guess, I'm just bitter considering I am currently sitting on the couch, in a place that I can't stand, talking to a person who I can barely tolerate.

I decided it wasn't worth it to argue, so I answered, "Steve was gonna hang out with Evie at The Dingo after work, so I said that I might as well go to the Shepard and han with my other brothers instead of being bored outta my freakin' mind."

"There must be more. That still ain't no reason to get pissed." he said, acting like he knows it all. Okay, so maybe he was right, there was more to tell, but where does he get off just casually pointing it out? And why the hell is he even talking to me? Willingly? That's what I'm dying to know.

I nodded and said, "He told me that he cared for my well-being, and he practically told me that I wasn't going to go." Dallas looked at me expectantly, obviously not satisfied with the story. What did he expect?

"And?" he pushed.

I rolled my eyes. "And nothing. That's the story." He busted into laughter. I really, really wanted to smack him right now. "What?" I snapped.

"Well, that ain't a reason." he answered like it was just so obvious. Yeah, well he should've been there! In fact, I'm glad he wasn't. There's only so much of Dallas Winston I can take in a day.

I rolled my eyes and replied, "It was the straw that broke the camels back. He didn't care 'bout my well-being when he just told me to walk home alone. He knows there are socs out there. He knows that are father could've been home. Then he decides to actually say he cared 'bout my well-being." I ended in a ramble. I then added, "He obviously didn't care that much." It came out as a whisper, almost like I sounded vulnerable.

Dallas sighed exasperated, probably wondering why he even decided to start the conversation. Or wondering why he hasn't ended it yet. Yeah, why are we still talking? He rolled his eyes and responded (awkwardly, I should add), "Steve cares he just has a funny way of showing it."

I held up my hand and quickly said, "Don't. Compassion is not your strong suit." He sighed relieved. I scoffed. Well, then!

He looked at me with his eyebrows raised and said, "You know, you're way to sober for this party." He then proceeded to offer me some beer. I was half tempted to take it, and pour it all on him. But he's Dallas Winston, and I don't think that would've gone over so well. I still wanted to though.

I roughly pushed his hand away and said firmly, "I don't drink." He opened his mouth to say something, but I already had a hint of what it was, so I cut him off saying, "And I don't smoke."

He closed his mouth, and looked at me funny. I was relieved when he didn't press on the matter, but he did turn his head the other way and muttered "Buzz-kill." I rolled my eyes. You know, I like drunk Dallas better. He's easier to talk to, and he's more relaxed.

I would've kept my mouth shut, but I was kinda bored, so I didn't. "You know, you're too wasted to be mean." He rolled his eyes, but didn't comment. "Some tough hood." I muttered under my breath. I was hoping he didn't hear it because then I would've found myself in some deep, deep shit. Thankfully, he didn't hear it. Either that, or he did, but he was, in fact, too wasted to be mean.

I chose the latter. If he didn't hear it, then he wouldn't have looked my way.

"And by the way, what the hell is up with your brother?" Dallas said, obviously annoyed. I raised my eyebrows, urging for him to continue, which he did. "He didn't bang no hookers last night." he said, then added, "He was such a buzz-kill." I giggled. It really, really was a surprise. For all of us.

I nodded my head in disbelief, then looked around the room. I saw Austin going upstairs, dragging a dumb broad by the hand gently. I shook my head aggravated, and replied, "Well, obviously, he's making up for lost time." Dallas gave me a strange look. "I just saw him go upstairs with a dumb broad following him like a lost puppy." I explained.

He nodded in understanding and said, "Atta kid." I scoffed. God, I hate being here. Sure, it was better than being home, but still. This isn't exactly my first choice of how to spend my new found 'freedom' and 'happiness'. Let's see how long it lasts, though.

"Hailey? What the hell are you doin' here?" I turned my head to see who it was. I looked over to see Kyle. I shrugged. He was obviously still waiting for an answer.

I rolled my eyes and answered, "Steve pissed me off, so I'm here to piss him off." Kyle raised his eyebrows at me, urging to me to explain further. I sighed exasperated and added, "I'm here strictly for 'business'." I used my fingers as quotations.

Kyle rolled his eyes, but occupied the seat next to me. So now here I am, at a party that I don't want to be at, and sitting between my brother and Dallas Winston who I'm pretty sure is half way to unconsciousness. This is so not how I planned my first day of freedom and happiness to be like. Can I go home yet?

Kyle looked over at me with a strange look. Almost like he just noticed something now that he was closer. Oh shit!

"Hales?" he said in a strange tone. I looked over at him, expecting him to go on. "What's on your face?" he asked me slyly.

I looked away, debating whether or not I should tell him. He's gonna figure it out anyway, I mean, it's pretty self-explanatory. "What do you mean?" I asked back innocently. I almost had myself fooled for a second.

He rolled his eyes annoyed and responded, "Why do you have jewelry in your face?" At least he can't see my belly button!

Should I tell him 'bout the tattoo? Or the other piercing that he can't see? I sighed and reluctantly said, "I was walking around town today, after I had my argument with Steve, when I passed a…tattoo parlor." I said the last part quietly, hoping that he wouldn't hear.

Kyle hung his head low, probably afraid to hear the rest of the story. After a moment, he looked p, and said firmly, "Continue."

I continued sheepishly, "I walked in, and…got a tattoo along with a few piercing." I mumbled the last part.

He held his hand to his ear, indicating that he didn't hear when I knew very well that he did. "I'm sorry, what?" he asked, like he didn't believe it.

I threw my hand up in the air slightly, feeling defeated and said, "I got a tattoo, and a few piercing." The people that were close by looked my way. Good thing the music was playing loud enough, otherwise I would've ended up running out of their. Although, I would've used it as an excuse to not ever go back. I quietly added, "It's really no big deal."

Kyle threw his head back onto the couch and groaned, loudly, and said, "Why, Hailey?"

After a moment, I answered, "Well, I wanted to do something I never did before, and getting a tattoo just seemed so…permanent." He shook his head in disbelief.

"Yeah, well, it is permanent." he replied, obviously not happy.

I opened my mouth to defend myself and my decision making, when Dallas spoke up, saying, "That's tuff." I looked at him in disbelief. He was not helping!

"Let me see it, Hales." Kyle said reluctantly. I knew he didn't _want_ to see it, but he knew there was no point arguing when there was nothing I could do 'bout it now. Like I said, it's permanent. I moved my hair to one side of my neck so he could get a good view. He looked at it, and I heard him sigh a few moments later.

"So?" I asked, wanting to know what he thought of it.

"So, what?" he asked back, mimicking me. These are the moments when I can barely find him tolerable.

"Did you like it?" I elaborated.

He sighed, but reluctantly, said, "Yeah, it looks good." I nodded and smiled, happy that I got my way. I then heard him mumble under his breath, "I would like it better if it wasn't on you." I rolled my eyes at his stupidity. Yeah? Well, it is on me, so what are you gonna do 'bout it now?

My jet black hair was still residing on one side of my neck. Austin must've came downstairs, freshly fucked, because the next thing I heard was, "Hailey, did you get a tattoo?" Ugh!

Maybe it was a mistake coming here…


End file.
